DESIGNING WOMEN - You, Too, Can Be Julia!

Julia Sugarbaker was always my favorite among the incredible Designing Women team. I admired her ability to master the English language in the face of any situation with such grace, such satire, and such tongue-in-cheek (or not!) skill.

Here's a look at Julia in action...

In celebration of Designing Women's First Season being released to DVD today, NPR's "monkey see" site has made it possible for you to experience "becoming Julia" by creating your own "Julia Rant." Based on the MadLibs game, this exercise is great fun for any fans of Ms. Sugarbaker. Enjoy!

The resulting "rant" is Julia's response to Monday night's new episode of "The Bachelorette." Here's what my Julia has to say!

I would rather spend two hours sharing pigs in a blanket with John Dillinger than watch a woman who apparently purchased her intellect at Kmart for two cents chase twenty-five men with biceps made of copper and heads packed with Rice Krispies.

Because when future generations look upon what we have left for them, which may by then be little more than global warming and millions of non-biodegradable Ipods, I fear they will conclude that they would have welcomed bread and circuses if only they had realized the alternative was pork rinds and Jon & Kate Plus 8.

[sits down and crosses arms, but then immediately stands back up]

And let me tell you a little something about romance: Handing out roses like you are a mascot throwing peanut M & M’s to the assembled hooligans at a soccer game is not my idea of romance. Romance is a man who knows the difference between John Adams and John Travolta and who is capable of putting on a necktie without scratching his head as if he is connecting a DVD without the instruction manual.

So do not ask yourself why I do not particularly enjoy a television show where the assembled male candidates represent romantic prospects inferior to the workers on the night shift at the Applebee’s in Savannah. Ask yourself whether, after a lifetime playing with a cultural Playstation and dancing on the grave of Mr. Darcy, you will ever...recover...your dignity.